It Just Ain't FAIR!!!!!

The question is: Why don’t we always get what we want? Sad, aint it? The problem is not that it’s not there, it’s just aint attainable. I ponder always on why the good ones always lose out. It’s just not fair.

I’m an alpha type guy (macho...and all) but I still have urges to cry when everything goes wrong. I’m sick and tired of having to be the second fiddle all the time. It’s just tragic.

Before you think that I’m just whining on and on (which I am...And yes I’m whining because of a girl or should i say girls), consider this.

First scenario: I’ve known this girl for about six years and we kind of just understand each other. Within these six years we’ve dated other people and still stuck close. Now we’re in our final year (University) and it dawns on me that all of these years and in all of my others relationships, I’ve been looking for her in all of them. Now here comes the nut-breaker; she likes one of my closest friends (I’ve known him all my life) and she likes him for real. What’s more is that he also likes her too. Now I’m stuck with between telling her how I feel but lose a friendship (both of them in this case) or just let them be and lick my wounds. Life always throws you curve balls, aint it?

Second scenario: This girl just intrigues me. I’m always happy around her. Although I haven’t known her that long but it just seems like I’ve known her all my life. Here’s the rub; First she says she likes me but she still has feelings for her ex. Second, her ex (who’s am acquaintance of mine; keyword:”acquaintance”) is staging a comeback. Knowing something about history, I understand that once you’ve dated someone you never really get over them (especially if you had something special with them). Now I’m confused about how she feels about me because her mouth says one thing but her actions say another.

Haven considered both scenarios, I guess you understand why I’m mildly upset that I’m not getting what I want. Somehow I feel short-changed by The Fates. It’s just really upsetting to know that in the long run I may never get what I want at both ends.

Now I know someone will be quick to say that I should get on with my life. Yeah right! but I get it. I know that at some point I’d have to wake up to the reality of things and get going but what am I to do at this point where I’m upset.

Somewhere, somehow, something inside of me is trying to console me by giving me platitudes like “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone better”, “Life goes on”, blah blah blah!!. All that still doesn’t change the fact that I’m sad and upset now.

Truth be told, I never thought any of this could happen but now that it has and I can connect all the dots, the picture is still too ugly for my eyes.

Now I remember a joke someone told me (it wasn’t funny at the time but still made sense to me). He said “If God wanted everything to be perfect he would not have created man (Yeah I’m a creationist: Sorry Darwinians) and “If God wanted all things in perfect symmetry the world would have been round and not spherical”. All that makes more sense now that everything has kind of fallen out of place.

Phew! Now that all my feelings are out there in words, I feel lighter and a lil’ bit better. Though I still think it’s tragic (just tragic) and sad and all, and I think that life has the tendency to be unfair to my ilk, I’d love to end this by saying something my mother told me once when she lost a loved one: She said “I know life’s not fair and it’s tragic and all, but I’ll live, I’ve got to”.

The Other Side: What Really is Our Purpose In Life

What really counts in this Life?
Seeing as this life we're in isn't forever, what exactly are we supposed to be doing during our sojourn here. Everyday we live we are dying progressively.

Just the other day i was thinking to myself, why is it that people don't seem to recognize the one thing they are brought forth into this life to do.

Identifying this one thing really is what we use our whole lifetime to do. However, a select few of us here on earth eventually stumble upon something which he or she can do in way that i close to perfection. They go on in this direction and they get public acclaim for their efforts in that field. The labour put into sch activity usually is unparalleled by any other thing in the person's life. After "a life well spent" we eulogise these people.

But do we for a moment imagine that the person has indeed wasted his or her effort in doing the wrong thing. Do we ever imagine the person before his/her creator and they are really castigated for wasting their earthly existence on something other than that which they were to do. What if Micheal Jackson was, in the creators eye, meant for greatness in nuclear science, or Albert Einstein was meant for greatness in music. Or What if William Shakespeare was meant to be a Legendary Warrior and Achilles was meant to be a Poet/playwright
At least it has been proven time and again that if you put all your effort into learning something or doing something, your chances of success at it are high. So why then do always say we are trying to identify our purpose.

The true measure of our fulfillment therefore is the feeling of satisfaction we get from whatsoever activity we engage in.
This attainment of satisfaction in my own opinion is the one thing that will allow us hold our head high and say we have found our purpose. It is the one thing that will, when we meet our creator, give us boldness and say i have fulfilled my life's mission

FLO

For all i knew Flo was the most dangerous person i had ever come in contact with. Aside from the fact that he came in grew up with a brother in the game, he also was some sort of natural. To deal with him meant we had to bring to fort all our experience.

Flo already had an army of his own. He had never for once made us doubt his capabilities. We all did nopt have a problem with treating Flo's fuck up, Ice was the one we worried about. Being Flo's elder brother, Ice had a tough time readying his mind. We had to teach Flo a lesson and fast too.

On the D-Day we got to Flo's lair all prepped up and ready for whatever, this was going to to be ultimate showdown between two brothers, Ice and Flo. What we met was much more than we could handle. The sheer number of Flo's army was intimidating, their demeanor cold take the heart out of us, the legendary mercenaries. As far as we knew we were already defeated, but accepting defeat before fighting was not our way. We had to fight even if it meant losing our lives it was worth it for our honour's sake. 

"Leave the goons for us, Go handle your brother" I said, Ice acknowledged my statement with a nod. With that he fought his way quickly towards Flo upstairs while we took care of things downstairs. It was the fight that saw us fight as though tomorrow did not exist. Blood, teeth all over the floor. The smell of death loomed large in the air. I never thought i would ever fear death; this day i did. Screams of pain emanating from all directions. A saying in the hood said f you wanted to know a man for who he truly is see him when he is at the brink of death. I saw men and boys that very day. Within an hour we saw Flo in the distance carrying his brother in his hands all bloodied up. We stood there rooted to the spot everyone also stopped fighting because we knew that those whom the fight really concerned had finally ended it. We, the legends of the hood those whom the totem of strength had bourne for years had finally fallen. Fallen never to rise again. We took Ice to the hospital. His recovery was slow, but like the rest of us he never recovered from the defeat.

We all left the game together, defeated but consoled in the thought that we bowed out with a good fight, one that would always be remembered in the history of the hood for life. I went on to the University, so did Bode, Bayo and Lanre before he met his death at the hands of some cultists. Ice however, had o other life outside the game, so he stuck to it. His got a daughter and a god house though.

Seems like life is just as it is, you win some you lose some. I have learnt to take anything that life throws my way. No matter the situation my cell experience will always see me through. i have had to deal with difficult situations. As the saying goes there is nothing new under the sun. as long as i am under that sun I am alright.

Home Sweet Home?

While on the inside, a lot was going on on the outside. A revolution was coming which was fast making us irrelevant in the politics of the hood. New gangs new unwritten policies, new people to the game. I had to get out quick so that the change would not sweep me aside.
Day and Night my boys came to see me especially Ice.
"Dang man, My girl wants to have my baby and i aint read yet" said Ice, one of his visits. "Tell her you aint down for it" i answered. " I love this chic, man! I think i gotta listen to her" He replied.
"That aside i came to tell you that our market at Oluyole", "Things have changed since you got in"
I could not believe those words because Oluyole was our stronghold, the very place i was initiated into the crime world. It had been under our control since we went solo. I was seething with rage. The feeling of pain nsuddenly crept in. I started to understand that all i had worked for was in vain if i was not there to protect it. Crime did not give me the luxury of reaping the fruits of my labour.
"Who are the ring leaders" I demanded, "MY brother.......... Flo" Ice replied, I was shocked beyond deliverance. " FLO" I repeated.

Torre "Flo" Arius was on guy i never liked. Unlike his brother he was born into the money of the hustling. He always watched the hustle around him. Ice loved him so much he never allowed him into the game. From all indications Flo was heady, always disobeying and getting into trouble. Since the divorce and departure of their parents Ice had always been a father, mother and a brother to Flo. Because of his intense love for Flo, Ice never took lightly any of his misdemeanors.

But the hood is the hood. Game still the game. Fuck ups had to be treated even if the culprit is your brother.
Tough Luck

REVENGE

Revenge that was all we could think of. The fact that Chrissy was no more was unbearable. To make matters worse his Widowed Mother did not allow us to attend the burial because she said we were the ones who led her son astray, which was partly true. But Chrissy always had a rough edge to himself.

Act we must and fast it had to be. We waited patiently for the slightest provocation from the FOXES. They sensed our strategy and decided to wait out the storm. At last our chance came this time they hijacked a deal from us. That was enough provocation. As in our former days with CYCLOPS we went alone just the five of us, armed to the teeth and ready to destroy. We got to the hideout, this time it was Ice who rang out the battle cry calling out their leader Biodun a.k.a. Carnage. Without waiting for his reply we swung into action. We destroyed just about everything in sight. We maimed, we impaled, we most likely killed, we unleashed the terror we were once known for. We burnt down their cars, destroyed furniture and more. Being the son of a notable personality in the city Biodun decided to call for police help.

We heard the Police sirens from afar of, but consumed by the passion to teach them a lesson we ignore it. When it became obvious that we had to run away decided to but there was a problem we had keep the Police preoccupied. I volunteered to do that. Trusting my abilities the rest run of while i kept the Police busy. At the end of it i got arrested and thus egan my travail in jail. Day and night they tortured me to rt out the other members of my gang. I refused to be broken because of the love i had for them all. Nothing was going to make me be the weak link in our tight chain of brotherhood. Ice and the boys came to visit me several times feeling guilty that i was left alone but i woud not allow any of it. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got out.

FOXES

They were everywhere. They had eyes at all corners it seemed. For a moment we thought we had lost all our power to them. Then came the time that our parts did cross.
About a week before this incident we had concluded deals with some yahoo guys to sell their merchandise. the merchandise was worth about 850,000 naira. This by far one of our highest deals ever so we were very prepared. On this fateful day, we were in Ice's apartment waiting for the guys that were to deliver the goods to us. when they took too long we decided to break protocol and call them. The news we received was shocking, the FOXES had waylaid them and taken all the merchandise away. We went mad pictures of our glory days as a ruthless hit squad came back to us we were determined to give the FOXES a dose of their own medicine.

Armed to the teeth and with enough back up from another sister mercenary group, we headed out for the FOXES' hide out at night. When we got there, there was noise of partying in the place, They were celebrating their victory but not for long. POW!! two gunshots rang in the air as Ice shot into the air. Everywhere everyone scampered for safety being gentlemen we allowed all the girls around to run outside the compound to their homes, it remained just us and the FOXES. Ever quick and agile Chrissy jumped on one of them and began to beat the living daylight out of him. AS though everyone was waiting for who would make the first move, full scale fighting began. No mercy was sought neither was any given it was fight to the finish. Many a time I remember that day and cry for the lives that were wasted and those that were maimed. I can remember a particular one of the FOXES who could not be more than 16 yrs at the time look into my eyes as i beat him to pulp and saying please forgive me and faint in my arms. To this day i have never forgiven myself for not stopping.

We left that day feeling victorious, not knowing that death was around the corner for one of us. At exactly 2.30pm the next day while we were coming back from Ice's place, Chrissy was gunned down by two power bikers who came charging at us. To this day we do not know their identities but we know who sent them. This prompted us to be more alert and vigilant but even that could not protect us from the impending dangers of the days to come.

This time when the FOXES crossed our part again we decided to crush them for good
BY HOOK OR BY CROOK

CYCLOPS

They were very other gangs nightmare. If you crossed the line you went down. Everyone tread softly around them. Their leader Dolapo a.k.a CALYPSO was a terror, feared by many loved by few, respected by all. I for one wanted to be like him. He had the whole area under his control. The power Calypso got for himself was too much for him to handle so he spread his territory amongst is close associates. Myself and my clique of friends, Ice (Pablo Arius), Christopher Emecheta(chrissy), Bond (Bode Adepoju), Lanre Akeju (Lance), Bayo Walter (Bayou), decided to join CYCLOPS. Our purpose was to climb up the ladder of authority not just be members for the name sake. Ice being the more rugged of the lot of us was more open to the procedures of the gang. Ice was also the oldest of us.

Within 2 months, we all had become soldiers thanks to Ice's mentoring and help. As soldiers we were required to do most of the dirty work of the gang. Like stickups, gang bangs, busting whosoever messed up and the like of it. Gradually we gained a reputation for our thoroughness and we instituted as a arm of the overall operation. As lords of our art we learnt one invaluable truth that as being true to me ever since: The heat is not worth it if you can't stop or cope with it.

We dodged bullets on a regular. We got jumped by other gangs occasionally and we always reacted as usual thoroughly. Our ruthlessness and precision in treating fuck ups was legendary throughout the city underworld. Then came yahoo-yahoo (Internet fraud).

At the time, the guys involved in the fraud bought stuff online with jacked credit cards and gave it to the gang to sell. Knowing the wide reach and market of the gang. Also the gang didn't only sell stolen stuff they sold drugs too.

Knowing how powerful we had become we decided to leave CYCLOPS before they found a way to get rid of us. After thinking of a way to make us still relevant in the game and close every avenue that CYCLOPS might use to crush us we then decided to be mercenaries. Since the did not have people who were as good as we were we also decided to make ourselves much more relevant by opening up our services to all, giving our services to the highest bidder. We did all from dogging, treating fuck ups to transporting and selling merchandise and the likes.

Then came the rise of the FOXES a group of renegades with one mission to crush us. This was to be the beginning of a war that saw one of us die and all of us cry.